It's almost September and I still love my babies. Have we learned and taught as much as we should've? No. We're working it.
Stealing from KIPP-- Work hard. Be Nice. No shortcuts. No excuses.
31 August 2009
06 August 2009
28 June 2009
Overdue
Here we go...
School is over. It has been over for several weeks now. I've been doing things like being human. And I love it.
Four months of teaching felt like six and I find myself continually referring to it as a six month period of time...which it wasn't. But!! I will be back in the fall, teaching second grade. I am excited. I really am. I will be glad to have a group that is MINE and we will be together the WHOLE year. I don't even know what more to say about that except that I am excited for all the possibilities.
Summer in New Orleans has been lovely. I'm working hard to fulfill my goal to fall in love with this city. What helps is that I found a book called Letters from New Orleans by a journalist named Rob Walker. It's a collection of, well, letters that he wrote around 2000. There was one particular little section that really stood out to me that I shall share now:
Q: Why did you choose New Orleans?
A: New Orleans is not the new Avenue C. This was once the richest city in the South. It is not that anymore, but it is also not the new anything; it is still New Orleans . What does that mean? I think random bullets are a clue. I think that unselfconciousness is a clue. Denial is a clue. Laughing at trouble seems like a clue, and so does dancing at Rock n' Bowl. Of course, I'll look back on all this in a year or two, or more, and be amazed at how badly I read the clues, at how little I understood, early on, about the mysteries of this place. It will all seem clearer then, I hope. Because that's why we chose New Orleans.
January 3-7, 2000
What stands out the most is the part about this city having a certain sort of unselfconsciousness. This is huge to me. In my eyes, Austin is a very "look at me" sorta city. Whether you're a hippie or a dragrat or a hipster or sorostitute you're making a statement. You make a point to show people what you're about by the way you look, where you drink your coffee, where you drink your beer, what you're reading. I don't feel that way here. I feel like I could walk down the street and be pantsless, jamming with headphones and a forty (well, MAYBE I couldn't have a glass bottle) and people wouldn't look twice at me. They really wouldn't give two shits. If that happened in Austin, I'd probably get twenty missed connections on craigslist about that weird girl who was walking down the street today. I MEAN, DID Y'ALL SEE THAT?!?! I don't know. Maybe it's my own insecurities shining through here, but I do know that it has been a major process for me to learn to be less...self-conscious. But I'm learning slowly that NO ONE really cares. Not in a bad sort of a way, but in a, "Hey Annie, quit being so paranoid and thinking everyone is looking at you." And I don't think that I could be learning a better lesson.
I look forward to reading more of this book. I highly recommend it.
I have nothing more to share right now. I need to do some serious house cleaning. We spent the day in the baby pool yesterday and tracked all kinds of backyard debris into the kitchen. Our water is supposed to be shut off tomorrow for some street construction. I don't trust them that it will be back on by five o'clock, so I'm feel very paranoid and trying to complete any household tasks that might require water before 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. Or maybe I'll just continue to watch bad stand-up on TBS...
Anyway, I have to get to reading a book called Seedfolks for a class I'm taking about teaching the humanities through literacy. Google PRIME TIME. It will all make sense then.
Alright, fellas, keep it real...keep in touch.
School is over. It has been over for several weeks now. I've been doing things like being human. And I love it.
Four months of teaching felt like six and I find myself continually referring to it as a six month period of time...which it wasn't. But!! I will be back in the fall, teaching second grade. I am excited. I really am. I will be glad to have a group that is MINE and we will be together the WHOLE year. I don't even know what more to say about that except that I am excited for all the possibilities.
Summer in New Orleans has been lovely. I'm working hard to fulfill my goal to fall in love with this city. What helps is that I found a book called Letters from New Orleans by a journalist named Rob Walker. It's a collection of, well, letters that he wrote around 2000. There was one particular little section that really stood out to me that I shall share now:
Q: Why did you choose New Orleans?
A: New Orleans is not the new Avenue C. This was once the richest city in the South. It is not that anymore, but it is also not the new anything; it is still New Orleans . What does that mean? I think random bullets are a clue. I think that unselfconciousness is a clue. Denial is a clue. Laughing at trouble seems like a clue, and so does dancing at Rock n' Bowl. Of course, I'll look back on all this in a year or two, or more, and be amazed at how badly I read the clues, at how little I understood, early on, about the mysteries of this place. It will all seem clearer then, I hope. Because that's why we chose New Orleans.
January 3-7, 2000
What stands out the most is the part about this city having a certain sort of unselfconsciousness. This is huge to me. In my eyes, Austin is a very "look at me" sorta city. Whether you're a hippie or a dragrat or a hipster or sorostitute you're making a statement. You make a point to show people what you're about by the way you look, where you drink your coffee, where you drink your beer, what you're reading. I don't feel that way here. I feel like I could walk down the street and be pantsless, jamming with headphones and a forty (well, MAYBE I couldn't have a glass bottle) and people wouldn't look twice at me. They really wouldn't give two shits. If that happened in Austin, I'd probably get twenty missed connections on craigslist about that weird girl who was walking down the street today. I MEAN, DID Y'ALL SEE THAT?!?! I don't know. Maybe it's my own insecurities shining through here, but I do know that it has been a major process for me to learn to be less...self-conscious. But I'm learning slowly that NO ONE really cares. Not in a bad sort of a way, but in a, "Hey Annie, quit being so paranoid and thinking everyone is looking at you." And I don't think that I could be learning a better lesson.
I look forward to reading more of this book. I highly recommend it.
I have nothing more to share right now. I need to do some serious house cleaning. We spent the day in the baby pool yesterday and tracked all kinds of backyard debris into the kitchen. Our water is supposed to be shut off tomorrow for some street construction. I don't trust them that it will be back on by five o'clock, so I'm feel very paranoid and trying to complete any household tasks that might require water before 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. Or maybe I'll just continue to watch bad stand-up on TBS...
Anyway, I have to get to reading a book called Seedfolks for a class I'm taking about teaching the humanities through literacy. Google PRIME TIME. It will all make sense then.
Alright, fellas, keep it real...keep in touch.
10 May 2009
Thirteen More Instructional Days
You know when you start doing something and you think, "There is no way I will ever make it. I will die before I'm done."??? Well, that's how I felt about two weeks into teaching and I haven't died (yet). Although, the school did require me to get a throat swab last week to prove that I didn't have swine flu (I don't) and so, I guess that's been the closest that I have come to death. (Allergies) Although I have been called lots of nice names. (Ms. Book, ugly bitch, white whore, racist, cracker white bitch, casper, lady, brah, etc.)
I feel very ready for this year to be over. But I'm still looking forward to the fall. I STILL don't know my assignment, but I do know that it will be a contained classroom. This will be much better than being an elective teacher. (which is miserable)
I can't really decide how I feel about teaching, if it is something for me or not. Sometimes I don't think that just finding kids funny is enough reason to be in a classroom. Because, really, most days, the funny shit kids say to me is what makes it okay. I've really not had any of those "teachable moments" where you impart some sort of wisdom on a young person and watch their eyes change to understanding. Yeah, nope. I am, however, becoming better at being very explicit with directions. (z.B.: "Without putting your hands on another person, place your paper in the green folder, face up, with your name on it. If you don't write your name, I don't feel like playing detective today, so you will get a sixty.")
I can certainly tell you that I hate middle schoolers, though. I really do. I did NOT sign up to play momma to a bunch of 13 and 14 year old assholes. I really don't give a shit that you're going through puberty and all emotional and hormonal and want to be a bitch, I just want to give you your damn spelling test and talk to you as little as possible.... Harsh? Well, spend an hour and a half with my seventh grade class and you'll get it. EVERYTHING IS AN ARGUMENT. I really think if I write about this anymore I'll just piss myself off and Sunday is the day that I'm not supposed to think about students.
Life outside of teaching is minimal. I find myself so exhausted by the time Friday comes that I don't want to do anything. And if I'm not exhausted, I'm probably infested with some disgusting germ a child coughed into my face. I'm just not very good at partying like a 22 year old is supposed to in this town. I'm terrible at being hung over and I don't know how much I even like to be drunk. Meh. It's really that one sentence that makes me think I couldn't live in New Orleans forever. Sometimes, I just don't feel like getting drunk. That doesn't translate here.
I'm looking forward to coming back to Austin this summer. The closer and closer it comes, the more I think I'd like to be there the majority of the summer. I've applied to two separate summer courses, so my acceptance to either of those will affect my plans. I'd also like to go to Montreal this summer. Hopefully I can stop online shopping and actually save two pennies so I can afford to do this.
I guess I'm generally happy with life. I don't know. It could be worse right? I think it's just shocking to "grow up". I think it's something that I was always RUNNING towards (I hated high school the second I stepped foot inside, I graduated early from college, etc.) but now that I've crossed the "finish line" I'm a little bit disappointed. Is it too negative to say that that seems to be how I've felt about most of life's "milestones"? (May I specifically quote the day I got my period? "oh damn, I'm a woman.")
I didn't plan what I would write before I started writing and it's scattered. Oh, I found my notes the other day from the trip with Helki last summer. I sort of thought about making those into entries. I feel like I've forgotten too much to make them anything good though. Sad. I forget things too quickly.
I feel very ready for this year to be over. But I'm still looking forward to the fall. I STILL don't know my assignment, but I do know that it will be a contained classroom. This will be much better than being an elective teacher. (which is miserable)
I can't really decide how I feel about teaching, if it is something for me or not. Sometimes I don't think that just finding kids funny is enough reason to be in a classroom. Because, really, most days, the funny shit kids say to me is what makes it okay. I've really not had any of those "teachable moments" where you impart some sort of wisdom on a young person and watch their eyes change to understanding. Yeah, nope. I am, however, becoming better at being very explicit with directions. (z.B.: "Without putting your hands on another person, place your paper in the green folder, face up, with your name on it. If you don't write your name, I don't feel like playing detective today, so you will get a sixty.")
I can certainly tell you that I hate middle schoolers, though. I really do. I did NOT sign up to play momma to a bunch of 13 and 14 year old assholes. I really don't give a shit that you're going through puberty and all emotional and hormonal and want to be a bitch, I just want to give you your damn spelling test and talk to you as little as possible.... Harsh? Well, spend an hour and a half with my seventh grade class and you'll get it. EVERYTHING IS AN ARGUMENT. I really think if I write about this anymore I'll just piss myself off and Sunday is the day that I'm not supposed to think about students.
Life outside of teaching is minimal. I find myself so exhausted by the time Friday comes that I don't want to do anything. And if I'm not exhausted, I'm probably infested with some disgusting germ a child coughed into my face. I'm just not very good at partying like a 22 year old is supposed to in this town. I'm terrible at being hung over and I don't know how much I even like to be drunk. Meh. It's really that one sentence that makes me think I couldn't live in New Orleans forever. Sometimes, I just don't feel like getting drunk. That doesn't translate here.
I'm looking forward to coming back to Austin this summer. The closer and closer it comes, the more I think I'd like to be there the majority of the summer. I've applied to two separate summer courses, so my acceptance to either of those will affect my plans. I'd also like to go to Montreal this summer. Hopefully I can stop online shopping and actually save two pennies so I can afford to do this.
I guess I'm generally happy with life. I don't know. It could be worse right? I think it's just shocking to "grow up". I think it's something that I was always RUNNING towards (I hated high school the second I stepped foot inside, I graduated early from college, etc.) but now that I've crossed the "finish line" I'm a little bit disappointed. Is it too negative to say that that seems to be how I've felt about most of life's "milestones"? (May I specifically quote the day I got my period? "oh damn, I'm a woman.")
I didn't plan what I would write before I started writing and it's scattered. Oh, I found my notes the other day from the trip with Helki last summer. I sort of thought about making those into entries. I feel like I've forgotten too much to make them anything good though. Sad. I forget things too quickly.
13 March 2009
March
Well it certainly became March quickly. I'm not really sure that I could fully begin to explain what life has become, except for saying something like "grown up".
It is the strangest feeling to be responsible for so many other people...to be responsible for when someone drinks water, eats, goes to the bathroom...really, very strange.
I believe the official count is 47 instructional days until summer. Another teacher was wearing a sticker on her shirt with the number...
I never, EVER thought that teaching would be simple or easy or some other synonym, but it is by the far the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life. It's also the greatest exercise in self-control that I have ever experienced. Hopefully next year, I will be a normal classroom teacher, not elective, and will only have 20-24 students (rather than 120+). I suppose it has been good in the respect that a lot of kids know who I am now, but for having it be my first teaching position, it is incredibly overwhelming. I never really feel like I am doing anything effective or that anyone is actually learning. Most of the time I feel like I'm babysitting 24 kids who curse and eat and yell and dance and beat the shit out of each other. That I don't understand as much. Why is everyone constantly hitting one other??
Some good things do happen. The PreK students are pretty hilarious. (See: Banana phones at breakfast, "Kendrick, hang up your banana and start eating!") I find the First Graders to be an enjoyable crowd as well. The other day they were drinking off the water fountain and this one little girl comes to me to tattle about another student saying, "Ms. Brook, he got two scoops of water!!" I could only laugh.
Anyway, that's life now...summer's not that far away.
It is the strangest feeling to be responsible for so many other people...to be responsible for when someone drinks water, eats, goes to the bathroom...really, very strange.
I believe the official count is 47 instructional days until summer. Another teacher was wearing a sticker on her shirt with the number...
I never, EVER thought that teaching would be simple or easy or some other synonym, but it is by the far the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life. It's also the greatest exercise in self-control that I have ever experienced. Hopefully next year, I will be a normal classroom teacher, not elective, and will only have 20-24 students (rather than 120+). I suppose it has been good in the respect that a lot of kids know who I am now, but for having it be my first teaching position, it is incredibly overwhelming. I never really feel like I am doing anything effective or that anyone is actually learning. Most of the time I feel like I'm babysitting 24 kids who curse and eat and yell and dance and beat the shit out of each other. That I don't understand as much. Why is everyone constantly hitting one other??
Some good things do happen. The PreK students are pretty hilarious. (See: Banana phones at breakfast, "Kendrick, hang up your banana and start eating!") I find the First Graders to be an enjoyable crowd as well. The other day they were drinking off the water fountain and this one little girl comes to me to tattle about another student saying, "Ms. Brook, he got two scoops of water!!" I could only laugh.
Anyway, that's life now...summer's not that far away.
04 December 2008
New job! (most likely)
Oh hey!
As the title suggests, I've got a new job, or rather, a new opportunity/path to a new job. I interviewed and was selected to become a teaching fellow with teachNOLA. (www.teachnola.org) I will be training for the next month and then hopefully by January 20th (or so) I will be in front of a classroom of elementary age kids. Pretty crazy, but pretty exciting!
What thrills me the most about all of this is that I am finally able to really start what I moved here to do, which is help rebuild. I don't know how many of you visited New Orleans before Katrina, but even for the passive visitor, like I always was before the storm, how the city has changed is clear beyond obvious physical damages. Even still, I know Katrina was a devastating storm and that it takes time to rebuild, but I am still surprised when I see decaying and unoccupied buildings or empty lots. It's easy to forget how long it takes to recover from a storm like Katrina, especially when you come from a place (Austin) that has a seriously active volunteer community and strong interest in the well-being of its residents. That's not to say that their isn't a disinterest in the well-being of residents of New Orleans, but that it is a different sort of interest than in Austin, I think. Furthermore, I discovered pretty quickly how decades (and probably longer) of racial favoritism and corrupt politics have left rather large portions of New Orleanians in the dust...or underwater...too soon?? (as HBW would say)
Diatribes aside...what's most important for people to realize is that New Orleans has a huge potential to become great. People care about this city and that is also something I've learned (big time) since moving here. The passion of people from New Orleans about being from New Orleans is incredible. And I thought I was proud to be a Texan(!)...
There are things that are maybe inherent to the New Orleans attitude that could stand to be adjusted in order to facilitate a faster recovery effort (for example: "we can do it tomorrow, let's party today" or "it's always been this way and it will always be this way" or "who is going to fix this for me?"). But I think that these attitudes are shifting too, or well, being influenced positively by the influx of non-New Orleanians moving to the city. And the other side of this, I feel like I have definitely been positively influenced by moving here too. I can't see myself leaving for a long time. I rather like it here.
Anyway, this became convoluted really quickly. Basically what I wanted to say was that I'm on the path to a new job and I'm excited to be helping, or rather, helping more. I want New Orleans to be great. I want kids to know that they are capable and intelligent. I want people to believe in public education. I guess I want a lot of things, but I see them as being completely possible and I think that's good. You gotta have hope, right? I think I heard some guy say that...
Oh and here's a picture of my house...
As the title suggests, I've got a new job, or rather, a new opportunity/path to a new job. I interviewed and was selected to become a teaching fellow with teachNOLA. (www.teachnola.org) I will be training for the next month and then hopefully by January 20th (or so) I will be in front of a classroom of elementary age kids. Pretty crazy, but pretty exciting!
What thrills me the most about all of this is that I am finally able to really start what I moved here to do, which is help rebuild. I don't know how many of you visited New Orleans before Katrina, but even for the passive visitor, like I always was before the storm, how the city has changed is clear beyond obvious physical damages. Even still, I know Katrina was a devastating storm and that it takes time to rebuild, but I am still surprised when I see decaying and unoccupied buildings or empty lots. It's easy to forget how long it takes to recover from a storm like Katrina, especially when you come from a place (Austin) that has a seriously active volunteer community and strong interest in the well-being of its residents. That's not to say that their isn't a disinterest in the well-being of residents of New Orleans, but that it is a different sort of interest than in Austin, I think. Furthermore, I discovered pretty quickly how decades (and probably longer) of racial favoritism and corrupt politics have left rather large portions of New Orleanians in the dust...or underwater...too soon?? (as HBW would say)
Diatribes aside...what's most important for people to realize is that New Orleans has a huge potential to become great. People care about this city and that is also something I've learned (big time) since moving here. The passion of people from New Orleans about being from New Orleans is incredible. And I thought I was proud to be a Texan(!)...
There are things that are maybe inherent to the New Orleans attitude that could stand to be adjusted in order to facilitate a faster recovery effort (for example: "we can do it tomorrow, let's party today" or "it's always been this way and it will always be this way" or "who is going to fix this for me?"). But I think that these attitudes are shifting too, or well, being influenced positively by the influx of non-New Orleanians moving to the city. And the other side of this, I feel like I have definitely been positively influenced by moving here too. I can't see myself leaving for a long time. I rather like it here.
Anyway, this became convoluted really quickly. Basically what I wanted to say was that I'm on the path to a new job and I'm excited to be helping, or rather, helping more. I want New Orleans to be great. I want kids to know that they are capable and intelligent. I want people to believe in public education. I guess I want a lot of things, but I see them as being completely possible and I think that's good. You gotta have hope, right? I think I heard some guy say that...
Oh and here's a picture of my house...
08 November 2008
New Post!
Hi hi, salutations!
Clearly I'm having a rockin' Friday night. I came home from work today and began final preparations on dinner for Boys Hope (http://www.boyshopegirlshope.org/what-we-do.php). Caitlin and I worked together to make a cake, sandwiches, pasta salad and veggies. Last month when we brought food, Ms. Mona invited us to eat with them, but we were going to see a play that evening and couldn't. Therefore, this time we planned to stay with them and we did. I said grace, which was weird, only because I haven't said grace since I was 12 or something. I've heard it said plenty of times, but I never say it...mostly because I think I get stage fright, which I definitely did tonight, but I think also because I try to think what everyone would be thankful for, besides the obvious food sitting in front of us and then just get awkward and say too much...and anyway. I think it went all right. ANYWAY, I started to volunteer to make this dinner once a month, the first Friday of the month, as a part of my personal campaign to get involved in the world outside me and it's neat that it is becoming something for Caitlin and I to do together...which also sort of happened all by accident anyway. But, that seems to be how everything is happening with life here in New Orleans: "accident".
I got a job offer! http://library.uno.edu/about/jobs/la_services_4548.html That's a lie, by the way! Not the job offer, but that it's available, because I took it!! I put in my two weeks at Earth-Search, which is sad, but necessary. Hopefully I'll still be doing some baby sitting and screaming and running and nose wiping and all of that because I have grown to really enjoy it, but it's definitely time to move on and start using my degree. Turns out I went to college for a reason....
OOH! And, I have another interview coming up for TeachNOLA. I'm pretty nervous but excited and need to call my sister (Sally) for advice about a lesson plan. As part of the interview process, which lasts all day (!), I have to make a mock five-minute lesson plan. I can cover any material I want, at any grade level. I figure that because I am interviewing for the position of an elementary school teacher, I should go for that range and I think that I'd really like to teach fourth or fifth graders. I'd really like to avoid any ages that might consistently "accidentally" pee their pants. I'm done with the defecation in the clothing. Another part of the application process is taking the Praxis I and II tests, which I am also anxious about, mostly because the last time I can remember sitting down for an extended period of time and taking a standardized test was six years ago in High School. Ew.
Anyway, I kind of digressed...After dinner tonight, I came home and reclined with the intention to stay reclined for the first time in several days. I obviously immediately fell asleep. It's probably because I took my pants off first. It is absolutely impossible to sleep comfortably in jeans. But yes, I passed out and woke up nearly every hour to read some sort of silly text message and make a half asleep response and then fall back asleep. I have been worried the past couple of days because I was loaned a copy of A Confederacy of Dunces (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Confederacy_of_Dunces), an apparently essential New Orleans read, and thought I had lost it. I was frustrated, mostly, because I was just getting interested in it and wanted to keep reading. I had remembered seeing a copy next to Allison's bed and asked if I could borrow it for the time being. But then I had a "light bulb" moment and thought to check the crack between my bed and the wall. And of course it was there. I had checked under the bed, but not the crack. Almost all things I ever seem to lose have been found in that crack. It's a black hole for my half-thoughts, or something.
ANYWAY, with all this sleep, I woke up around 10:30 to come downstairs and find Allison and Kolbe and John drinking in the kitchen. It smelled like a bar. Don't worry, I put on pants before I went downstairs. It's funny. OR well, it has been funny, living with another girl. It reminds me of living at SRD, mostly because every time I hear a male voice my ears perk up and I immediately go investigate. What's the deal with that? ANYWAY, I came downstairs and ate a banana. I wasn't really hungry but it seemed appropriate to me to have something in my hand because everyone else had a beer. So I ate the banana and flipped through the channels on the TV about thirty times. I watched a couple minutes of what I'm going to assume was Soulplane, got disinterested and came upstairs. I think that maybe I'll see how late I can stay up tonight. I haven't stayed up all night in a long time (sober...sorry mom and dad) and I forgot how nice it can be to watch the sunrise and the early early morning news (you know, the broadcast from New York, from London if you're REAL early). And then you fall asleep at 7:45AM, just as the normal people stir. ANYWAY. I think that's what I'll do and study for the Praxis exams and think about what I'll do tomorrow. The plans already include shopping for interview clothes (pants) and going to see Dark Knight at the IMAX. This has been the topic of conversation for literally months. Perhaps seeing it will finally quell the noise...or just make me become an active part of it.
But, that's what's been going on, today anyway.
Clearly I'm having a rockin' Friday night. I came home from work today and began final preparations on dinner for Boys Hope (http://www.boyshopegirlshope.org/what-we-do.php). Caitlin and I worked together to make a cake, sandwiches, pasta salad and veggies. Last month when we brought food, Ms. Mona invited us to eat with them, but we were going to see a play that evening and couldn't. Therefore, this time we planned to stay with them and we did. I said grace, which was weird, only because I haven't said grace since I was 12 or something. I've heard it said plenty of times, but I never say it...mostly because I think I get stage fright, which I definitely did tonight, but I think also because I try to think what everyone would be thankful for, besides the obvious food sitting in front of us and then just get awkward and say too much...and anyway. I think it went all right. ANYWAY, I started to volunteer to make this dinner once a month, the first Friday of the month, as a part of my personal campaign to get involved in the world outside me and it's neat that it is becoming something for Caitlin and I to do together...which also sort of happened all by accident anyway. But, that seems to be how everything is happening with life here in New Orleans: "accident".
I got a job offer! http://library.uno.edu/about/jobs/la_services_4548.html That's a lie, by the way! Not the job offer, but that it's available, because I took it!! I put in my two weeks at Earth-Search, which is sad, but necessary. Hopefully I'll still be doing some baby sitting and screaming and running and nose wiping and all of that because I have grown to really enjoy it, but it's definitely time to move on and start using my degree. Turns out I went to college for a reason....
OOH! And, I have another interview coming up for TeachNOLA. I'm pretty nervous but excited and need to call my sister (Sally) for advice about a lesson plan. As part of the interview process, which lasts all day (!), I have to make a mock five-minute lesson plan. I can cover any material I want, at any grade level. I figure that because I am interviewing for the position of an elementary school teacher, I should go for that range and I think that I'd really like to teach fourth or fifth graders. I'd really like to avoid any ages that might consistently "accidentally" pee their pants. I'm done with the defecation in the clothing. Another part of the application process is taking the Praxis I and II tests, which I am also anxious about, mostly because the last time I can remember sitting down for an extended period of time and taking a standardized test was six years ago in High School. Ew.
Anyway, I kind of digressed...After dinner tonight, I came home and reclined with the intention to stay reclined for the first time in several days. I obviously immediately fell asleep. It's probably because I took my pants off first. It is absolutely impossible to sleep comfortably in jeans. But yes, I passed out and woke up nearly every hour to read some sort of silly text message and make a half asleep response and then fall back asleep. I have been worried the past couple of days because I was loaned a copy of A Confederacy of Dunces (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Confederacy_of_Dunces), an apparently essential New Orleans read, and thought I had lost it. I was frustrated, mostly, because I was just getting interested in it and wanted to keep reading. I had remembered seeing a copy next to Allison's bed and asked if I could borrow it for the time being. But then I had a "light bulb" moment and thought to check the crack between my bed and the wall. And of course it was there. I had checked under the bed, but not the crack. Almost all things I ever seem to lose have been found in that crack. It's a black hole for my half-thoughts, or something.
ANYWAY, with all this sleep, I woke up around 10:30 to come downstairs and find Allison and Kolbe and John drinking in the kitchen. It smelled like a bar. Don't worry, I put on pants before I went downstairs. It's funny. OR well, it has been funny, living with another girl. It reminds me of living at SRD, mostly because every time I hear a male voice my ears perk up and I immediately go investigate. What's the deal with that? ANYWAY, I came downstairs and ate a banana. I wasn't really hungry but it seemed appropriate to me to have something in my hand because everyone else had a beer. So I ate the banana and flipped through the channels on the TV about thirty times. I watched a couple minutes of what I'm going to assume was Soulplane, got disinterested and came upstairs. I think that maybe I'll see how late I can stay up tonight. I haven't stayed up all night in a long time (sober...sorry mom and dad) and I forgot how nice it can be to watch the sunrise and the early early morning news (you know, the broadcast from New York, from London if you're REAL early). And then you fall asleep at 7:45AM, just as the normal people stir. ANYWAY. I think that's what I'll do and study for the Praxis exams and think about what I'll do tomorrow. The plans already include shopping for interview clothes (pants) and going to see Dark Knight at the IMAX. This has been the topic of conversation for literally months. Perhaps seeing it will finally quell the noise...or just make me become an active part of it.
But, that's what's been going on, today anyway.
06 October 2008
How do you spell zoo?
I have thought about many different things to write about in the last few weeks and per usual, I have forgotten all of these things as I sit in front of my computer. I have a little moleskin that I really should employ more often. I guess the trickier matter is having a pen at hand...
The weather has begun to turn slightly cooler. Today was the first humid, sticky day in a while, and I think tonight it is supposed to become cooler and drier again. I would like that, but I have been able to sleep with my balcony door open every night and wake up not sweating...so! ... this is a good thing. Any time I can not turn on the air conditioning, I am happy.
I am also sick. Sick sick sick. Something has been going around with the kids at work and I guess I'm bound to get it too if I'm asking people to blow their nose, more or less, into my hand several times a day. Being sick and being alone isn't fun. BUT!! The reason I am alone is good. Allison's older sister just had her second baby last week!! Congratulations to them! He is happy and healthy and named Rowan. I can't say that I'm not looking forward to Allison coming home tomorrow though. I even cleaned the kitchen floor. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My ESL classes have been going well, but I left lesson plans and home baked cookies with someone else tonight to teach my class. My voice sounds mannish and smoker-y (I don't smoke) and so...you know, it's important to have a nice sounding voice if you're teaching someone a language. I think they will be in good hands. I am kind of disappointed to miss tonight's lesson though because it is all about food. Damn. Anyway, each class I've had between four and eight students from Mexico, Honduras and Nicaragua. Pretty fun crew. I think they think I'm just a crazy gringa. I guess that's pretty true.
So besides all the childrens being ill, work has been pretty fun. I took Penelope and Maelene to Audubon Zoo last week. We saw elephants and flamingos and monkeys and gorillas and white tigers and found a pink binky on the ground, but then put it back on the ground and rode the carousel and learned how to spell zoo and passed out in the car (not me, I was driving) and ate gelato and just had a lovely time. I learned to appreciate fold down changing tables in the women's rest room and had some conversation with a grandma about sunglasses on kids. All in all...a good experience. I did sort of feel compelled to talk loudly about bringing them back to their mothers though. I guess if they did anything really naughty (which they didn't) I didn't want people thinking they came out of me. ha! It sorta felt like rent-a-kid.
I'm going to be a ninja for Halloween. Ex-ci-TED! I'm gonna karate chop the crap out of people. I'm going to have no friends by the end of the night....ANYHOO, totally worth it.
I'll try to write down funny things that happen so I can relate them back to y'all. Most of the stuff I can think of right now that has made me laugh super hard in the past two weeks has been kid-poop related. Gross, right?
The weather has begun to turn slightly cooler. Today was the first humid, sticky day in a while, and I think tonight it is supposed to become cooler and drier again. I would like that, but I have been able to sleep with my balcony door open every night and wake up not sweating...so! ... this is a good thing. Any time I can not turn on the air conditioning, I am happy.
I am also sick. Sick sick sick. Something has been going around with the kids at work and I guess I'm bound to get it too if I'm asking people to blow their nose, more or less, into my hand several times a day. Being sick and being alone isn't fun. BUT!! The reason I am alone is good. Allison's older sister just had her second baby last week!! Congratulations to them! He is happy and healthy and named Rowan. I can't say that I'm not looking forward to Allison coming home tomorrow though. I even cleaned the kitchen floor. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My ESL classes have been going well, but I left lesson plans and home baked cookies with someone else tonight to teach my class. My voice sounds mannish and smoker-y (I don't smoke) and so...you know, it's important to have a nice sounding voice if you're teaching someone a language. I think they will be in good hands. I am kind of disappointed to miss tonight's lesson though because it is all about food. Damn. Anyway, each class I've had between four and eight students from Mexico, Honduras and Nicaragua. Pretty fun crew. I think they think I'm just a crazy gringa. I guess that's pretty true.
So besides all the childrens being ill, work has been pretty fun. I took Penelope and Maelene to Audubon Zoo last week. We saw elephants and flamingos and monkeys and gorillas and white tigers and found a pink binky on the ground, but then put it back on the ground and rode the carousel and learned how to spell zoo and passed out in the car (not me, I was driving) and ate gelato and just had a lovely time. I learned to appreciate fold down changing tables in the women's rest room and had some conversation with a grandma about sunglasses on kids. All in all...a good experience. I did sort of feel compelled to talk loudly about bringing them back to their mothers though. I guess if they did anything really naughty (which they didn't) I didn't want people thinking they came out of me. ha! It sorta felt like rent-a-kid.
I'm going to be a ninja for Halloween. Ex-ci-TED! I'm gonna karate chop the crap out of people. I'm going to have no friends by the end of the night....ANYHOO, totally worth it.
I'll try to write down funny things that happen so I can relate them back to y'all. Most of the stuff I can think of right now that has made me laugh super hard in the past two weeks has been kid-poop related. Gross, right?
21 September 2008
Sunday Night
I am excited. Tomorrow is the first day of Fall. I think Fall is the best season, hands down. And October is the best month.
Tomorrow I also start teaching an adult ESL course through the Hispanic Apostolate-Catholic Charities Archdiocese of New Orleans. I went to volunteer orientation all of Saturday and it was interesting and kind of scary. I know that I want to do this because I really value the chance I've had to work on acquiring a second language, HOWEVER! when theory becomes practice and I actually have to stand in front of adults and teach them English, it gets scary. We've been provided books and rough ideas for what to do each class, but lesson plans and creativity are up to me and I guess I'm feeling concerned for my students. The good thing about this program is that it is incredibly interactive between the volunteer teachers, tutors, etc etc, and we can bounce ideas off one another. I guess...I just, you know... public speaking...people depending on you...responsibility...scary.
These past couple of weeks have been strange. We're lucky nothing really happened with Gustav or Ike but adjusting after evacuating and screwed up schedules and pay checks and whatever else goes along with stopping real life for a week has kind of been miserable. Or well, I don't know, maybe I shouldn't use a word as strong as miserable, but it has been unpleasant. I've written about my love of routine before and so I think I don't really have to expand on the topic. I'm just looking forward to things feeling "normal" again. Or something like normal. It's funny to wake up and go to sleep and remember that this is "LIFE" and this is what it means to be "grown up" and it's weird because it's one of those things that you don't ever think is going to happen. And then it does, and your constantly reminding yourself that it is and you have to enjoy it. And do things. And live "life". And really consider phrases like "I'll sleep when I'm dead."
And I guess further on this, I've been realizing that all these past twenty-two years, when I didn't do something, someone else had to. And the only person you're truly accountable toward is yourself. And when you don't do these things (normal day-to-day things like eating healthy and changing your sheets), you're really hurting yourself. And I'm glad I'm learning this because I guess that's what it means to be responsible. AND ANYWAY! This blog went in a direction I wasn't expecting, but I guess that's the way it is. I'm going to work on my lesson plan for tomorrow now. I sure hope my students appreciate a sense of humor.
Tomorrow I also start teaching an adult ESL course through the Hispanic Apostolate-Catholic Charities Archdiocese of New Orleans. I went to volunteer orientation all of Saturday and it was interesting and kind of scary. I know that I want to do this because I really value the chance I've had to work on acquiring a second language, HOWEVER! when theory becomes practice and I actually have to stand in front of adults and teach them English, it gets scary. We've been provided books and rough ideas for what to do each class, but lesson plans and creativity are up to me and I guess I'm feeling concerned for my students. The good thing about this program is that it is incredibly interactive between the volunteer teachers, tutors, etc etc, and we can bounce ideas off one another. I guess...I just, you know... public speaking...people depending on you...responsibility...scary.
These past couple of weeks have been strange. We're lucky nothing really happened with Gustav or Ike but adjusting after evacuating and screwed up schedules and pay checks and whatever else goes along with stopping real life for a week has kind of been miserable. Or well, I don't know, maybe I shouldn't use a word as strong as miserable, but it has been unpleasant. I've written about my love of routine before and so I think I don't really have to expand on the topic. I'm just looking forward to things feeling "normal" again. Or something like normal. It's funny to wake up and go to sleep and remember that this is "LIFE" and this is what it means to be "grown up" and it's weird because it's one of those things that you don't ever think is going to happen. And then it does, and your constantly reminding yourself that it is and you have to enjoy it. And do things. And live "life". And really consider phrases like "I'll sleep when I'm dead."
And I guess further on this, I've been realizing that all these past twenty-two years, when I didn't do something, someone else had to. And the only person you're truly accountable toward is yourself. And when you don't do these things (normal day-to-day things like eating healthy and changing your sheets), you're really hurting yourself. And I'm glad I'm learning this because I guess that's what it means to be responsible. AND ANYWAY! This blog went in a direction I wasn't expecting, but I guess that's the way it is. I'm going to work on my lesson plan for tomorrow now. I sure hope my students appreciate a sense of humor.
06 September 2008
Back in New Orleans
yeeHAW! Back home to sweet, sweet lady NOLA. Very strange, but very good. Just as we pulled off of I-10 and onto S. Carrollton, I could already smell the vomit. MMM! Smells like home....
SO! Here's the report: There are police, EVERYWHERE. I've never seen more blue lights in my entire life. There was actually a hummer parked down the street from our house with a national guardsman and a gun sticking out the top. So I guess that's good??? There are branches and bits of trees lining the streets and boards still cover many windows and doors. The huge hibiscus plant that was in our front yard got pretty messed up and had to be cut down. Also, somehow... during the storm a pigeon got inside of our house!!! There is bird shit EVERYWHERE. On the kitchen counter...on the couch...on the stairs. Kind of disgusting. BUT! Really...if this is the worst we got from Gustav, I'll take it.
ANYWAY, now we just have to clean up the poop and sort of clean up the house. We left in a bit of a hurry. And Lana is here visiting from Alaska! I feel bad that it was such terrible timing... but I think we'll be able to make some fun anyway.
So that's all. I'm alive and well. I don't know when I'll have to go back to work, but I imagine it'll be Monday. Power is mostly on, at least in our neighborhood, but not everywhere in the city. A lot of street lights are out. I don't know. It's weird. But okay...bye.
SO! Here's the report: There are police, EVERYWHERE. I've never seen more blue lights in my entire life. There was actually a hummer parked down the street from our house with a national guardsman and a gun sticking out the top. So I guess that's good??? There are branches and bits of trees lining the streets and boards still cover many windows and doors. The huge hibiscus plant that was in our front yard got pretty messed up and had to be cut down. Also, somehow... during the storm a pigeon got inside of our house!!! There is bird shit EVERYWHERE. On the kitchen counter...on the couch...on the stairs. Kind of disgusting. BUT! Really...if this is the worst we got from Gustav, I'll take it.
ANYWAY, now we just have to clean up the poop and sort of clean up the house. We left in a bit of a hurry. And Lana is here visiting from Alaska! I feel bad that it was such terrible timing... but I think we'll be able to make some fun anyway.
So that's all. I'm alive and well. I don't know when I'll have to go back to work, but I imagine it'll be Monday. Power is mostly on, at least in our neighborhood, but not everywhere in the city. A lot of street lights are out. I don't know. It's weird. But okay...bye.
02 September 2008
Sunny, hot
I'm in Austin, still, and that's okay. It's hot and sunny and everything Austin is supposed to be in the summertime. Things don't really start to become any kind of cool until the end of October...and even then, it's iffy.
The first thing I do when I wake up is check the news. It's good to know the storm is passed without major catastrophe for New Orleans. We don't know what's happened to our house, but I can't imagine it is anything terrible. I'm not sighing with relief yet, but I'm certainly feeling a lot less "dooms day"-ish. I hate how influenced by media scare tactics I can be. But, to be fair to myself (which I like to try to be) I've never experienced anything like an evacuation before and it's not a normal thing to have to do.
This last thought being said, I continue to struggle with my feelings. I obviously can't take the situation lightly, however! considering my minimal investments in the city (time wise and "property" wise) I feel less justified in my feelings of ... well, anything. I'm having a hard time putting this into words. I guess, mostly, I just think I shouldn't be so "dramatic" about it all because I wouldn't really be losing anything had something happened. My home isn't New Orleans. I'm not living in a hotel right now. I'm not being TRULY displaced. I'm just having to go home to Mom and Dad. Wah wah, boo hoo. See what I mean? Maybe not. I haven't said anything.
ANYWAY, I'm in Austin with nothing to do, not so much with where to go. I took my laundry basket out of the trunk of my car this morning and a gecko came out. Mixed feelings: I saved a gecko from a hurricane! and disgusting...there was a gecko in my f'ing sheets. I've been spending a good amount of time with my family, which is welcome. You forget how funny your family is when you only talk on the phone. Mom made a ton of food on Saturday night for the Texas Football game. This she does always and as always it was delicious and too much. I had to bring a bag of cookies and brownies over to Jon and Tyler's the next day to deal with the excess. I also haven't been eating so vegan in the past couple of days. Kind of hard to not eat what Mom puts in front of you.......
SO that's it. I'm just trying to think of things to do. New Orleans didn't seem so small until coming back here. From my sisters' house it's hard to go anywhere without having to get on a high way. The streets are smoother, though...and people sort of use more turn signals. ANYWAY, I'm going to go pretend I have something important to do.
K.I.T.
The first thing I do when I wake up is check the news. It's good to know the storm is passed without major catastrophe for New Orleans. We don't know what's happened to our house, but I can't imagine it is anything terrible. I'm not sighing with relief yet, but I'm certainly feeling a lot less "dooms day"-ish. I hate how influenced by media scare tactics I can be. But, to be fair to myself (which I like to try to be) I've never experienced anything like an evacuation before and it's not a normal thing to have to do.
This last thought being said, I continue to struggle with my feelings. I obviously can't take the situation lightly, however! considering my minimal investments in the city (time wise and "property" wise) I feel less justified in my feelings of ... well, anything. I'm having a hard time putting this into words. I guess, mostly, I just think I shouldn't be so "dramatic" about it all because I wouldn't really be losing anything had something happened. My home isn't New Orleans. I'm not living in a hotel right now. I'm not being TRULY displaced. I'm just having to go home to Mom and Dad. Wah wah, boo hoo. See what I mean? Maybe not. I haven't said anything.
ANYWAY, I'm in Austin with nothing to do, not so much with where to go. I took my laundry basket out of the trunk of my car this morning and a gecko came out. Mixed feelings: I saved a gecko from a hurricane! and disgusting...there was a gecko in my f'ing sheets. I've been spending a good amount of time with my family, which is welcome. You forget how funny your family is when you only talk on the phone. Mom made a ton of food on Saturday night for the Texas Football game. This she does always and as always it was delicious and too much. I had to bring a bag of cookies and brownies over to Jon and Tyler's the next day to deal with the excess. I also haven't been eating so vegan in the past couple of days. Kind of hard to not eat what Mom puts in front of you.......
SO that's it. I'm just trying to think of things to do. New Orleans didn't seem so small until coming back here. From my sisters' house it's hard to go anywhere without having to get on a high way. The streets are smoother, though...and people sort of use more turn signals. ANYWAY, I'm going to go pretend I have something important to do.
K.I.T.
31 August 2008
Nervous
(from nola.com)No worries, I'm not in New Orleans.
This is upsetting, to say the least. I've only been in the city barely 2 months and already I can't imagine not going back. It feels strange to be gone. I liked the way my life was going. I had plans. I can't even begin to fathom what it must be like for people who are from New Orleans. People who have real investments in that town. I can't fathom a lot of things.
We left (Allison and I) on Friday around one o'clock in the afternoon. I didn't think to pack really anything. In fact, I couldn't even find my keys. Luckily I had a spare car key, but I guess my other keys are going to be floating around somewhere....Let's hope not. But I suppose losing a set of keys is better than just about anything else you could lose. We saw caravan after caravan of buses on I-10 East, headed toward the city to evacuate people. It was surreal.
So I'm nervous. And I'm praying. And I hope you are too. This isn't looking good.
23 August 2008
Saturday
Whenever I begin to write an entry I feel it essential to say a greeting salutation. "Hi"
So Hurricane/Tropical storm... something, Fay, is coming! Not worried but it is starting to get a bit windy outside. Maybe it'll cool down some too. I'd like that. This city is too hot and steamy. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in a port-a-potty. Is that how that's spelled? You know what I'm talking about, right?
Work has improved vastly. I work from 9-5 now, which I've always wanted so that when I listen to Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" I can really feel like she is singing about my life. I DO stumble out of bed and tumble to the kitchen...you know, to pour myself a cup of ambition. MAN, I love Dolly.
I've said this to every single person I know, but if I don't regularly talk to you I haven't, so, listen. The best part about this job is that I have become much less self conscious. It's really nice. I've also sort of become amazing. Yesterday I got a potty training one and a half year old successfully on the toilet with an infant strapped to my chest. I then got her to flush the toilet, wash her hands, get the paper towel in the trash AND back into a diaper. I'm getting so much practice for parenthood. I'm also experiencing the best birth control of my entire life. God help me not to have kids until I'm at least thirty.
Don't forget to write.
xoxo,
Annie
So Hurricane/Tropical storm... something, Fay, is coming! Not worried but it is starting to get a bit windy outside. Maybe it'll cool down some too. I'd like that. This city is too hot and steamy. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in a port-a-potty. Is that how that's spelled? You know what I'm talking about, right?
Work has improved vastly. I work from 9-5 now, which I've always wanted so that when I listen to Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" I can really feel like she is singing about my life. I DO stumble out of bed and tumble to the kitchen...you know, to pour myself a cup of ambition. MAN, I love Dolly.
I've said this to every single person I know, but if I don't regularly talk to you I haven't, so, listen. The best part about this job is that I have become much less self conscious. It's really nice. I've also sort of become amazing. Yesterday I got a potty training one and a half year old successfully on the toilet with an infant strapped to my chest. I then got her to flush the toilet, wash her hands, get the paper towel in the trash AND back into a diaper. I'm getting so much practice for parenthood. I'm also experiencing the best birth control of my entire life. God help me not to have kids until I'm at least thirty.
Don't forget to write.
xoxo,
Annie
11 August 2008
Long time no write
How it do, friends & family? I'm sitting in my room in good ol' New Orleans, watching the rain through my balcony door. Sometimes the rain days are better than the sun days. Today was better than most.
I got a full night's rest after a weekend at the beach in Alabama. I could write page upon page of my criticisms about Alabama/Mississippi/the South in general, but I won't, because I don't feel the need to be political. That's one thing I feel like I should be but I'm not. I just don't like talking politics. It's rude, right? Regardless of the many backwards things there, the beach was nice and I only got a little sunburned and it's because I neglected to put sunscreen on my upper left thigh. My bad. You know, I do have one (more than one if I think hard) really nice thing to say about Alabama- they have a lot of great farmers markets. I wanted to stop so badly, but we were crunched for time and I had no cash on me....but I bet those peaches are delicious. What a pie I could make...
Speaking of, I've been slacking off on my baking these days. I was on a roll, starting at the end of June, when I would make at least one baked treat a week. After my birthday, and the bag of peanut butter cookies that just couldn't get eaten, I stopped. Maybe I'll make something this week. It is only Monday.
Work improves daily. The kids and I are becoming more comfortable with one another and learning each other's likes and dislikes. Communication is key.
So I still don't have pictures of our place...because I haven't taken any. But I will! I'll wait until there is no rain. Fingers crossed. Be good and stay sweet.
I got a full night's rest after a weekend at the beach in Alabama. I could write page upon page of my criticisms about Alabama/Mississippi/the South in general, but I won't, because I don't feel the need to be political. That's one thing I feel like I should be but I'm not. I just don't like talking politics. It's rude, right? Regardless of the many backwards things there, the beach was nice and I only got a little sunburned and it's because I neglected to put sunscreen on my upper left thigh. My bad. You know, I do have one (more than one if I think hard) really nice thing to say about Alabama- they have a lot of great farmers markets. I wanted to stop so badly, but we were crunched for time and I had no cash on me....but I bet those peaches are delicious. What a pie I could make...
Speaking of, I've been slacking off on my baking these days. I was on a roll, starting at the end of June, when I would make at least one baked treat a week. After my birthday, and the bag of peanut butter cookies that just couldn't get eaten, I stopped. Maybe I'll make something this week. It is only Monday.
Work improves daily. The kids and I are becoming more comfortable with one another and learning each other's likes and dislikes. Communication is key.
So I still don't have pictures of our place...because I haven't taken any. But I will! I'll wait until there is no rain. Fingers crossed. Be good and stay sweet.
01 August 2008
Tired.
Having a full-time job is a lot of work. Ha..ha.
I flew back to Austin on Wednesday night and I am feeling a little bit tired. I've been thinking that maybe I should get one of those credit cards that gives you airline miles when you buy stuff. I don't know when I got to flying so much, but I feel like I do. And I think that's funny because I like to think that I'm somewhat of a "green person". Austin was nice, though. I got to hit up the three food establishments I've been missing (Mother's, FoodHeads and Wheatsville) and spend time with friends I thought I wouldn't see for a long time.
ANYWAY, on the plane this morning I felt tired because it was 6:45AM and I've had about eight hours of sleep the past two nights. The clouds looked like the stuffing had been ripped out of a giant, well-loved teddy bear's stomach. And I got to watch the sun rise, which is nice, although I guess I see it rise almost every weekday now.
I don't know. The past couple of days have just got me to get to some thinking. I whine too often about things that really aren't problems. However, I don't think that I should spend so much time down playing the value of my problems or comparing them to problems that will Always be worse than mine (poverty, hunger, whatnot) because they do still matter to my life. Do you know what I mean? Just because it's middle class, doesn't make it a non-problem.
Sigh, I'm still tired and this doesn't make much sense. I think I should take a nap.
I flew back to Austin on Wednesday night and I am feeling a little bit tired. I've been thinking that maybe I should get one of those credit cards that gives you airline miles when you buy stuff. I don't know when I got to flying so much, but I feel like I do. And I think that's funny because I like to think that I'm somewhat of a "green person". Austin was nice, though. I got to hit up the three food establishments I've been missing (Mother's, FoodHeads and Wheatsville) and spend time with friends I thought I wouldn't see for a long time.
ANYWAY, on the plane this morning I felt tired because it was 6:45AM and I've had about eight hours of sleep the past two nights. The clouds looked like the stuffing had been ripped out of a giant, well-loved teddy bear's stomach. And I got to watch the sun rise, which is nice, although I guess I see it rise almost every weekday now.
I don't know. The past couple of days have just got me to get to some thinking. I whine too often about things that really aren't problems. However, I don't think that I should spend so much time down playing the value of my problems or comparing them to problems that will Always be worse than mine (poverty, hunger, whatnot) because they do still matter to my life. Do you know what I mean? Just because it's middle class, doesn't make it a non-problem.
Sigh, I'm still tired and this doesn't make much sense. I think I should take a nap.
13 July 2008
Hi hi
So I thought I'd include a video I took on the train from Granada to Barcelona back in June. I talked to my dad on the phone just after I made it, or maybe just before, so that he could see what it is like. So, here you all may see what it is like too!
I've survived my first full work week here in New Orleans and I think I can tell you all a bit better now what my life is going to be like. I work as an in-office nanny at a company called Earth Search. Their website is www.earth-search.com. You should check it out. Here is a cut and paste text from their website that explains what they do:
"ESI maintains a full-time, professional staff of archaeolologists, historians, and architectural historians with in-depth knowledge of the field of cultural resource management, and has extensive experience with intensive cultural resource surveys, NRHP evaluations, archaeological data recovery, HABS and HAER documentation, construction monitoring, archival research, informant interviews, and Section 106 documentation. We have in-house capabilities in archaeology, historic preservation, history, marine archaeology, zooarchaeology, paleoethnobotany, bioarchaeology, and cultural anthropology."
I realize obviously that this job has nothing to do with my History degree, but I don't think it took me very long after graduation to figure out that most people don't really do anything that has to do with their degree. I get paid pretty well, have health benefits and a good office environment to work in. I can wear what I want to work AND I get to play with really funny and intelligent little kids all day. It's a pretty good deal. Plus, I think in the future I'd really like to teach English abroad to kids, so it'll be great experience for that. I also think that there may or may not be a slight chance to do other work in the office someday. Maybe then I can use my degree.
I am happy and things are good. I can't really think of any very funny stories to tell at the moment. I did have a dream the other night that I asked Allison how to get "baby smell" out of my clothes. Oh! Other good news... I was concerned when moving here about where I was going to buy groceries (being vegan and not wanting to support Whole Foods). Austin has a great co-op where I would do 85 percent of my shopping. I just learned (via a flyer someone posted on the refrigerator at work) that a co-op is going to open up in 2009 just down the street from where I work. HOORAY! I went ahead and paid the $100 to become a member now and I think I am going to start going to the meetings that they have. Anyway, I'm excited by this. It also makes living here feel a lot more permanent.
And I feel okay with that too. I am going to try to take some pictures and give you guys an idea of where I live.
02 July 2008
Good news.
I got a job. And I start on Monday. Now's when I start complaining about how I hate having to be a "grown up" and going to work and "selling out to the man."
But really...I kinda like it. Don't tell.
But really...I kinda like it. Don't tell.
01 July 2008
Week One
Anyone else who has ever looked for a job, ever, probably understands how I feel right now: incredibly frustrated. I'm at the lovely post-college place of little to no experience, but a hell of a lot of courses about post-colonial rhetoric in modern American cinema...or something equally useless. I've had a couple of interviews, so that's good, but still! I need employment. I need purpose. I need structure!
I think most of my frustration stems from everything feeling so unknown. And I know that I won't "know" anything unless I start to make an effort to "know" things, but it turns out that is hard to do. It's hard to make yourself leave your comfortable little, air-conditioned space and go out into the big, bad, humid, stormy city that everyone tells you you are going to be shot in. And really, REALLY when I think about it, that isn't what makes me nervous or hesitant. It's just the not knowing. And maybe the roads here. They are miserable. Driving in New Orleans is like driving in a foreign country. There is all this "neutral ground" crap that I still totally don't understand and now that the street cars are running, it's just one more hazard that's there to look out for.
My point, sort of: if you are ever going to move to a new city, try to have a job before you get there. Having nothing to do is much harder than the opposite...psychologically anyway.
I think most of my frustration stems from everything feeling so unknown. And I know that I won't "know" anything unless I start to make an effort to "know" things, but it turns out that is hard to do. It's hard to make yourself leave your comfortable little, air-conditioned space and go out into the big, bad, humid, stormy city that everyone tells you you are going to be shot in. And really, REALLY when I think about it, that isn't what makes me nervous or hesitant. It's just the not knowing. And maybe the roads here. They are miserable. Driving in New Orleans is like driving in a foreign country. There is all this "neutral ground" crap that I still totally don't understand and now that the street cars are running, it's just one more hazard that's there to look out for.
My point, sort of: if you are ever going to move to a new city, try to have a job before you get there. Having nothing to do is much harder than the opposite...psychologically anyway.
23 June 2008
First night in New Orleans
I had a dream last night that I was back at High School. It had just been rebuilt and had room for tons of kids, even little tiny ones. I went into my math class, where there were also some other people from my High School, notably a group of overly eager people who REALLY REALLY wanted to sit with each other in the front row. I took a spot in the back next to Allison. There was a math problem up on the overhead that everyone was working on. I looked at it for a minute and picked up my pen as if I were going to attempt to solve it. After a few seconds and looking around, I put down my pen and said out loud to the class, "Yeah...this isn't the place for me, so...I'm just going to go now. History is more my thing. I like facts. I like reading and writing History ...so... see ya later." I stood up and my math teacher, Mr. Rowe (the same man from my Pre-Calculus and AP Calculus classes), followed me out the door. He gave me a huge bear hug, lifted me off of the ground even, and said, "Good luck. I think you should write your first novel." But in very kind and supportive way and then went on to describe what I should have in my novel, WHICH! terribly, I can't remember now, but he went on for quite some time. Then I walked away and woke up.
Is this a bad sign?
Is this a bad sign?
14 June 2008
Back in Texas
Hi, I am safely back to Texas AND figured out how to make the title not be in Hindi.
Getting back to Texas was a trial. We were awake for nearly 24 straight hours and by the end of it, I felt that way. I feel much happier to be back in Texas than I did the last time I came home. I know that this is because before I was leaving a home and this time I wasn't leaving anything necessarily. I am excited to not live out of a backpack anymore. I will be living out of boxes that my mother has so kindly organized for me. I do feel a little bit like a child when I have to ask my mom where she packed my underwear. So it goes...
Even though I only just arrived home 48 hours ago, I think I have figured out why I took this trip. That sounds stupid, but it's not, hold on, I'll explain. Obviously, I had motivations for taking this trip in the first place: Leonie's wedding, seeing friends, seeing things, getting away (from what, I don't know), etc. And I did all of these things (I have the pictures to prove it) but post-trip, I realize that there was a lot more about this past month, beyond the obvious.
Before I left in May I was feeling a lot of anxiety and a lot of stress and generally not in a very positive state of mind. The only thing that was really "getting me through" it all was that I would be in Germany in a matter of days. I am not really sure why I felt like Germany (or the people in it) were going to solve my problems, but I did. I am very good at running away. But anyway, I wasn't feeling good about moving to New Orleans or out of my place in Austin or my parents moving or really, pretty much, anything that happened to be taking place at the time. (This was before Barack Obama was named the democratic nominee). But time continued on and everything happened whether I thought I was prepared to deal with or not. Turns out that's how things work: shit happens, you adapt. So, time rolled on and I got all packed up and moved out and to Dallas and on a plane and in Frankfurt and in a car and at Alban Stolz Haus and then it was...you know...real. I walked in the door, passed the mail boxes, up the stairs, into the kitchen and I was there. It smelled the same. It mostly looked the same. I saw the same people. It was weird. Really weird. And uncomfortable and I had to really think about why I felt that way so that I could stop feeling that way because Lord knows I don't already feel weird enough about everything. I really like change, most of the time, and I was having a lot of difficulty dealing with this place that had been such a huge part of my life in the past few years. Anyway, I'm not going to go into that much deeper.
But the trip continued and I pretty much continued to feel uneasiness about moving. And then I saw Kristen and we had a lot of time to just talk and she shared about her experiences with moving abroad and being alone and adapting to different situations and it was very good for me. And I began to feel a bit better. And then I traveled alone through Spain and met Crystal, which was great, because it was a connection back to the past. And then I traveled alone to meet Helki, who was a reconnection with the present. And we made it through France, although I got sick again but was nursed by Chris' mother in Paris. And then we got back to Germany and again we had the mindset of Germany somehow solving our problems. Cologne was great, but we saw Erik there, who more or less, I think could be considered a tie back to Freiburg. So I was now having a sort of emotional mix of past, present, future, and it was strange but not bad. And anyway, after this rambling and poorly written paragraph, I have this to say.
I realized the importance of maintaining relationships and giving people more than a face-value. I learned about learning from other's experiences. I became slightly more self-aware, or at least more comfortable with the idea of being alone. And I think, most importantly, I am less afraid now of certain things I was a month ago. Not necessarily in some huge way (it was only a month) but I am definitely slightly (slightly) less wimpy, and I think that is good. And this is what I have to offer you for a post right now.
Getting back to Texas was a trial. We were awake for nearly 24 straight hours and by the end of it, I felt that way. I feel much happier to be back in Texas than I did the last time I came home. I know that this is because before I was leaving a home and this time I wasn't leaving anything necessarily. I am excited to not live out of a backpack anymore. I will be living out of boxes that my mother has so kindly organized for me. I do feel a little bit like a child when I have to ask my mom where she packed my underwear. So it goes...
Even though I only just arrived home 48 hours ago, I think I have figured out why I took this trip. That sounds stupid, but it's not, hold on, I'll explain. Obviously, I had motivations for taking this trip in the first place: Leonie's wedding, seeing friends, seeing things, getting away (from what, I don't know), etc. And I did all of these things (I have the pictures to prove it) but post-trip, I realize that there was a lot more about this past month, beyond the obvious.
Before I left in May I was feeling a lot of anxiety and a lot of stress and generally not in a very positive state of mind. The only thing that was really "getting me through" it all was that I would be in Germany in a matter of days. I am not really sure why I felt like Germany (or the people in it) were going to solve my problems, but I did. I am very good at running away. But anyway, I wasn't feeling good about moving to New Orleans or out of my place in Austin or my parents moving or really, pretty much, anything that happened to be taking place at the time. (This was before Barack Obama was named the democratic nominee). But time continued on and everything happened whether I thought I was prepared to deal with or not. Turns out that's how things work: shit happens, you adapt. So, time rolled on and I got all packed up and moved out and to Dallas and on a plane and in Frankfurt and in a car and at Alban Stolz Haus and then it was...you know...real. I walked in the door, passed the mail boxes, up the stairs, into the kitchen and I was there. It smelled the same. It mostly looked the same. I saw the same people. It was weird. Really weird. And uncomfortable and I had to really think about why I felt that way so that I could stop feeling that way because Lord knows I don't already feel weird enough about everything. I really like change, most of the time, and I was having a lot of difficulty dealing with this place that had been such a huge part of my life in the past few years. Anyway, I'm not going to go into that much deeper.
But the trip continued and I pretty much continued to feel uneasiness about moving. And then I saw Kristen and we had a lot of time to just talk and she shared about her experiences with moving abroad and being alone and adapting to different situations and it was very good for me. And I began to feel a bit better. And then I traveled alone through Spain and met Crystal, which was great, because it was a connection back to the past. And then I traveled alone to meet Helki, who was a reconnection with the present. And we made it through France, although I got sick again but was nursed by Chris' mother in Paris. And then we got back to Germany and again we had the mindset of Germany somehow solving our problems. Cologne was great, but we saw Erik there, who more or less, I think could be considered a tie back to Freiburg. So I was now having a sort of emotional mix of past, present, future, and it was strange but not bad. And anyway, after this rambling and poorly written paragraph, I have this to say.
I realized the importance of maintaining relationships and giving people more than a face-value. I learned about learning from other's experiences. I became slightly more self-aware, or at least more comfortable with the idea of being alone. And I think, most importantly, I am less afraid now of certain things I was a month ago. Not necessarily in some huge way (it was only a month) but I am definitely slightly (slightly) less wimpy, and I think that is good. And this is what I have to offer you for a post right now.
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