It's almost September and I still love my babies. Have we learned and taught as much as we should've? No. We're working it.
Stealing from KIPP-- Work hard. Be Nice. No shortcuts. No excuses.
31 August 2009
06 August 2009
28 June 2009
Overdue
Here we go...
School is over. It has been over for several weeks now. I've been doing things like being human. And I love it.
Four months of teaching felt like six and I find myself continually referring to it as a six month period of time...which it wasn't. But!! I will be back in the fall, teaching second grade. I am excited. I really am. I will be glad to have a group that is MINE and we will be together the WHOLE year. I don't even know what more to say about that except that I am excited for all the possibilities.
Summer in New Orleans has been lovely. I'm working hard to fulfill my goal to fall in love with this city. What helps is that I found a book called Letters from New Orleans by a journalist named Rob Walker. It's a collection of, well, letters that he wrote around 2000. There was one particular little section that really stood out to me that I shall share now:
Q: Why did you choose New Orleans?
A: New Orleans is not the new Avenue C. This was once the richest city in the South. It is not that anymore, but it is also not the new anything; it is still New Orleans . What does that mean? I think random bullets are a clue. I think that unselfconciousness is a clue. Denial is a clue. Laughing at trouble seems like a clue, and so does dancing at Rock n' Bowl. Of course, I'll look back on all this in a year or two, or more, and be amazed at how badly I read the clues, at how little I understood, early on, about the mysteries of this place. It will all seem clearer then, I hope. Because that's why we chose New Orleans.
January 3-7, 2000
What stands out the most is the part about this city having a certain sort of unselfconsciousness. This is huge to me. In my eyes, Austin is a very "look at me" sorta city. Whether you're a hippie or a dragrat or a hipster or sorostitute you're making a statement. You make a point to show people what you're about by the way you look, where you drink your coffee, where you drink your beer, what you're reading. I don't feel that way here. I feel like I could walk down the street and be pantsless, jamming with headphones and a forty (well, MAYBE I couldn't have a glass bottle) and people wouldn't look twice at me. They really wouldn't give two shits. If that happened in Austin, I'd probably get twenty missed connections on craigslist about that weird girl who was walking down the street today. I MEAN, DID Y'ALL SEE THAT?!?! I don't know. Maybe it's my own insecurities shining through here, but I do know that it has been a major process for me to learn to be less...self-conscious. But I'm learning slowly that NO ONE really cares. Not in a bad sort of a way, but in a, "Hey Annie, quit being so paranoid and thinking everyone is looking at you." And I don't think that I could be learning a better lesson.
I look forward to reading more of this book. I highly recommend it.
I have nothing more to share right now. I need to do some serious house cleaning. We spent the day in the baby pool yesterday and tracked all kinds of backyard debris into the kitchen. Our water is supposed to be shut off tomorrow for some street construction. I don't trust them that it will be back on by five o'clock, so I'm feel very paranoid and trying to complete any household tasks that might require water before 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. Or maybe I'll just continue to watch bad stand-up on TBS...
Anyway, I have to get to reading a book called Seedfolks for a class I'm taking about teaching the humanities through literacy. Google PRIME TIME. It will all make sense then.
Alright, fellas, keep it real...keep in touch.
School is over. It has been over for several weeks now. I've been doing things like being human. And I love it.
Four months of teaching felt like six and I find myself continually referring to it as a six month period of time...which it wasn't. But!! I will be back in the fall, teaching second grade. I am excited. I really am. I will be glad to have a group that is MINE and we will be together the WHOLE year. I don't even know what more to say about that except that I am excited for all the possibilities.
Summer in New Orleans has been lovely. I'm working hard to fulfill my goal to fall in love with this city. What helps is that I found a book called Letters from New Orleans by a journalist named Rob Walker. It's a collection of, well, letters that he wrote around 2000. There was one particular little section that really stood out to me that I shall share now:
Q: Why did you choose New Orleans?
A: New Orleans is not the new Avenue C. This was once the richest city in the South. It is not that anymore, but it is also not the new anything; it is still New Orleans . What does that mean? I think random bullets are a clue. I think that unselfconciousness is a clue. Denial is a clue. Laughing at trouble seems like a clue, and so does dancing at Rock n' Bowl. Of course, I'll look back on all this in a year or two, or more, and be amazed at how badly I read the clues, at how little I understood, early on, about the mysteries of this place. It will all seem clearer then, I hope. Because that's why we chose New Orleans.
January 3-7, 2000
What stands out the most is the part about this city having a certain sort of unselfconsciousness. This is huge to me. In my eyes, Austin is a very "look at me" sorta city. Whether you're a hippie or a dragrat or a hipster or sorostitute you're making a statement. You make a point to show people what you're about by the way you look, where you drink your coffee, where you drink your beer, what you're reading. I don't feel that way here. I feel like I could walk down the street and be pantsless, jamming with headphones and a forty (well, MAYBE I couldn't have a glass bottle) and people wouldn't look twice at me. They really wouldn't give two shits. If that happened in Austin, I'd probably get twenty missed connections on craigslist about that weird girl who was walking down the street today. I MEAN, DID Y'ALL SEE THAT?!?! I don't know. Maybe it's my own insecurities shining through here, but I do know that it has been a major process for me to learn to be less...self-conscious. But I'm learning slowly that NO ONE really cares. Not in a bad sort of a way, but in a, "Hey Annie, quit being so paranoid and thinking everyone is looking at you." And I don't think that I could be learning a better lesson.
I look forward to reading more of this book. I highly recommend it.
I have nothing more to share right now. I need to do some serious house cleaning. We spent the day in the baby pool yesterday and tracked all kinds of backyard debris into the kitchen. Our water is supposed to be shut off tomorrow for some street construction. I don't trust them that it will be back on by five o'clock, so I'm feel very paranoid and trying to complete any household tasks that might require water before 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. Or maybe I'll just continue to watch bad stand-up on TBS...
Anyway, I have to get to reading a book called Seedfolks for a class I'm taking about teaching the humanities through literacy. Google PRIME TIME. It will all make sense then.
Alright, fellas, keep it real...keep in touch.
10 May 2009
Thirteen More Instructional Days
You know when you start doing something and you think, "There is no way I will ever make it. I will die before I'm done."??? Well, that's how I felt about two weeks into teaching and I haven't died (yet). Although, the school did require me to get a throat swab last week to prove that I didn't have swine flu (I don't) and so, I guess that's been the closest that I have come to death. (Allergies) Although I have been called lots of nice names. (Ms. Book, ugly bitch, white whore, racist, cracker white bitch, casper, lady, brah, etc.)
I feel very ready for this year to be over. But I'm still looking forward to the fall. I STILL don't know my assignment, but I do know that it will be a contained classroom. This will be much better than being an elective teacher. (which is miserable)
I can't really decide how I feel about teaching, if it is something for me or not. Sometimes I don't think that just finding kids funny is enough reason to be in a classroom. Because, really, most days, the funny shit kids say to me is what makes it okay. I've really not had any of those "teachable moments" where you impart some sort of wisdom on a young person and watch their eyes change to understanding. Yeah, nope. I am, however, becoming better at being very explicit with directions. (z.B.: "Without putting your hands on another person, place your paper in the green folder, face up, with your name on it. If you don't write your name, I don't feel like playing detective today, so you will get a sixty.")
I can certainly tell you that I hate middle schoolers, though. I really do. I did NOT sign up to play momma to a bunch of 13 and 14 year old assholes. I really don't give a shit that you're going through puberty and all emotional and hormonal and want to be a bitch, I just want to give you your damn spelling test and talk to you as little as possible.... Harsh? Well, spend an hour and a half with my seventh grade class and you'll get it. EVERYTHING IS AN ARGUMENT. I really think if I write about this anymore I'll just piss myself off and Sunday is the day that I'm not supposed to think about students.
Life outside of teaching is minimal. I find myself so exhausted by the time Friday comes that I don't want to do anything. And if I'm not exhausted, I'm probably infested with some disgusting germ a child coughed into my face. I'm just not very good at partying like a 22 year old is supposed to in this town. I'm terrible at being hung over and I don't know how much I even like to be drunk. Meh. It's really that one sentence that makes me think I couldn't live in New Orleans forever. Sometimes, I just don't feel like getting drunk. That doesn't translate here.
I'm looking forward to coming back to Austin this summer. The closer and closer it comes, the more I think I'd like to be there the majority of the summer. I've applied to two separate summer courses, so my acceptance to either of those will affect my plans. I'd also like to go to Montreal this summer. Hopefully I can stop online shopping and actually save two pennies so I can afford to do this.
I guess I'm generally happy with life. I don't know. It could be worse right? I think it's just shocking to "grow up". I think it's something that I was always RUNNING towards (I hated high school the second I stepped foot inside, I graduated early from college, etc.) but now that I've crossed the "finish line" I'm a little bit disappointed. Is it too negative to say that that seems to be how I've felt about most of life's "milestones"? (May I specifically quote the day I got my period? "oh damn, I'm a woman.")
I didn't plan what I would write before I started writing and it's scattered. Oh, I found my notes the other day from the trip with Helki last summer. I sort of thought about making those into entries. I feel like I've forgotten too much to make them anything good though. Sad. I forget things too quickly.
I feel very ready for this year to be over. But I'm still looking forward to the fall. I STILL don't know my assignment, but I do know that it will be a contained classroom. This will be much better than being an elective teacher. (which is miserable)
I can't really decide how I feel about teaching, if it is something for me or not. Sometimes I don't think that just finding kids funny is enough reason to be in a classroom. Because, really, most days, the funny shit kids say to me is what makes it okay. I've really not had any of those "teachable moments" where you impart some sort of wisdom on a young person and watch their eyes change to understanding. Yeah, nope. I am, however, becoming better at being very explicit with directions. (z.B.: "Without putting your hands on another person, place your paper in the green folder, face up, with your name on it. If you don't write your name, I don't feel like playing detective today, so you will get a sixty.")
I can certainly tell you that I hate middle schoolers, though. I really do. I did NOT sign up to play momma to a bunch of 13 and 14 year old assholes. I really don't give a shit that you're going through puberty and all emotional and hormonal and want to be a bitch, I just want to give you your damn spelling test and talk to you as little as possible.... Harsh? Well, spend an hour and a half with my seventh grade class and you'll get it. EVERYTHING IS AN ARGUMENT. I really think if I write about this anymore I'll just piss myself off and Sunday is the day that I'm not supposed to think about students.
Life outside of teaching is minimal. I find myself so exhausted by the time Friday comes that I don't want to do anything. And if I'm not exhausted, I'm probably infested with some disgusting germ a child coughed into my face. I'm just not very good at partying like a 22 year old is supposed to in this town. I'm terrible at being hung over and I don't know how much I even like to be drunk. Meh. It's really that one sentence that makes me think I couldn't live in New Orleans forever. Sometimes, I just don't feel like getting drunk. That doesn't translate here.
I'm looking forward to coming back to Austin this summer. The closer and closer it comes, the more I think I'd like to be there the majority of the summer. I've applied to two separate summer courses, so my acceptance to either of those will affect my plans. I'd also like to go to Montreal this summer. Hopefully I can stop online shopping and actually save two pennies so I can afford to do this.
I guess I'm generally happy with life. I don't know. It could be worse right? I think it's just shocking to "grow up". I think it's something that I was always RUNNING towards (I hated high school the second I stepped foot inside, I graduated early from college, etc.) but now that I've crossed the "finish line" I'm a little bit disappointed. Is it too negative to say that that seems to be how I've felt about most of life's "milestones"? (May I specifically quote the day I got my period? "oh damn, I'm a woman.")
I didn't plan what I would write before I started writing and it's scattered. Oh, I found my notes the other day from the trip with Helki last summer. I sort of thought about making those into entries. I feel like I've forgotten too much to make them anything good though. Sad. I forget things too quickly.
13 March 2009
March
Well it certainly became March quickly. I'm not really sure that I could fully begin to explain what life has become, except for saying something like "grown up".
It is the strangest feeling to be responsible for so many other people...to be responsible for when someone drinks water, eats, goes to the bathroom...really, very strange.
I believe the official count is 47 instructional days until summer. Another teacher was wearing a sticker on her shirt with the number...
I never, EVER thought that teaching would be simple or easy or some other synonym, but it is by the far the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life. It's also the greatest exercise in self-control that I have ever experienced. Hopefully next year, I will be a normal classroom teacher, not elective, and will only have 20-24 students (rather than 120+). I suppose it has been good in the respect that a lot of kids know who I am now, but for having it be my first teaching position, it is incredibly overwhelming. I never really feel like I am doing anything effective or that anyone is actually learning. Most of the time I feel like I'm babysitting 24 kids who curse and eat and yell and dance and beat the shit out of each other. That I don't understand as much. Why is everyone constantly hitting one other??
Some good things do happen. The PreK students are pretty hilarious. (See: Banana phones at breakfast, "Kendrick, hang up your banana and start eating!") I find the First Graders to be an enjoyable crowd as well. The other day they were drinking off the water fountain and this one little girl comes to me to tattle about another student saying, "Ms. Brook, he got two scoops of water!!" I could only laugh.
Anyway, that's life now...summer's not that far away.
It is the strangest feeling to be responsible for so many other people...to be responsible for when someone drinks water, eats, goes to the bathroom...really, very strange.
I believe the official count is 47 instructional days until summer. Another teacher was wearing a sticker on her shirt with the number...
I never, EVER thought that teaching would be simple or easy or some other synonym, but it is by the far the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life. It's also the greatest exercise in self-control that I have ever experienced. Hopefully next year, I will be a normal classroom teacher, not elective, and will only have 20-24 students (rather than 120+). I suppose it has been good in the respect that a lot of kids know who I am now, but for having it be my first teaching position, it is incredibly overwhelming. I never really feel like I am doing anything effective or that anyone is actually learning. Most of the time I feel like I'm babysitting 24 kids who curse and eat and yell and dance and beat the shit out of each other. That I don't understand as much. Why is everyone constantly hitting one other??
Some good things do happen. The PreK students are pretty hilarious. (See: Banana phones at breakfast, "Kendrick, hang up your banana and start eating!") I find the First Graders to be an enjoyable crowd as well. The other day they were drinking off the water fountain and this one little girl comes to me to tattle about another student saying, "Ms. Brook, he got two scoops of water!!" I could only laugh.
Anyway, that's life now...summer's not that far away.
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